The Truth About Adult Friendships: Building Genuine Connections

The truth about friendships, especially in our adult life is … not what we imagine. 

There are plenty of essays and articles out there, talking about how to meet and make friends in our busy adult life, and many (if not almost all) focus on this idea of going out, doing activities in order to meet people. What I think is missing in the midst of all these articles is the genuine connection that we are all seeking out. 

It is one thing to meet people, but it is a totally different thing to find a deeper and meaningful bond. But how does one even acquire that level of friendship? 

One: Know yourself

A friendship, like any other relationship requires one to know themselves. Because when we know ourselves, our likes and dislikes. Things that bring us joy, we bring an element of ourselves that we can share with another person. 

But when we are an empty vessel trying to be filled by another human being, the bonding experience can feel fraught, because we are so wanting to be liked and included, that we forget about the other person. 

Two: Time

Too many of us want to instantly be friends with someone. But to develop a relationship that will stand the test of time, requires … time. Everything starts small and slowly. But in this modern day and age, everybody is in a rush to be somewhere. There is something magical about taking things at a slower pace. 

Three: True friendships are forged 

No true friends come out of good times. If we assess all of our friends that we have met at parties and good times, you will find that they are like the wind. Shifting and changing according to the direction of the path of least resistance. 

True friends are found when the going gets tough and each and everyone of you, has to hold their own weight for the greater good. They understand, because they themselves have experienced it. This is what I call, true empathy. 

This is how people find their mini tribes. I say mini, because these sorts of people are like diamonds in the rough. 

Friendship is like the roots of an oak tree. In order for that oak tree to form strong roots to weather the storm, it had to develop the roots. All great things are birthed from places unseen to the naked eye. 

And the things that we will bring us the greatest joy will look like work, but that is where all the rewards awaits.