The thought came to me on a Sunday afternoon, as a friend and I took a walk around her neighbourhood. She was talking about fruits (of all things) that she enjoyed eating and I found my mind drifting towards:
“Why are we actually engaging in this really banal conversation?”
I was surprised, how long this topic lasted for?
It got me thinking – what do most adults want out of a platonic relationship? And are they (predominately) this vacuous and surface level?
There are so many pieces written about: “How to make friends?” but rarely (or if ever) do we touch on the taboo subject of the whats and the whys?
What: sort of a friend are we? And why do we choose to keep and acquire certain friendships even though? And why is it that – no matter how many invites we accept and social events we engage in, that dull ache seems to persist?
The one that longs for something that is more substantial?
The truth is: many of us want to form a deeper interrelation with another being, but to do such, it requires vulnerability. And that … is a price too high for many. The thought of being seen for who we are; warts and all would leave any sane person running.
True friendships are not found at parties. They are found in the deep recesses of hardship.
To have a deeper bond will ask you to operate from a place of courage. It will ask much of you, before you even begin to receive. Inside all of us, we are silently asking someone else to prove their worthiness to us, before we commit.
But –
A person who is genuinely wanting a connection is seeking someone whose heart is ready.
They know what they want in a friend. Because … They know how to be the friend, to the friendship they are seeking.
This is what deep connection is. Someone has paid a price. A price that taught them the meaning of vulnerability and authenticity.
To have that friend, one has to learn to be a friend to themselves.
It’s the dichotomy of wanting to be seen and being seen for who we are, that leads us down the path of least resistance.
A ruminating Heart 