My complex has a shared garden area for the residents to use. There is also a self appointed garden committee who “looks after” the garden. The representatives, decided that it would be a good idea to have a native garden. Even though it sheds leaves like crazy and requires constant watering.
The head of the group decided to consult a landscape architect but ended up throwing the whole plan out, and ran with their own idea.
There were some disagreements within group and I am not sure what happened after that. But that patch of island looks rather … neglected.
The end result looks like this- a hodgepodge of one Travellers Palm and some misplaced bromeliad scattered around with reckless abandonment. A random bottle brush as a consolation prize. A black tarp to naturally euthanise the grass so they can mulch it. Why? That’s anybody’s guess?
This is the (what could’ve been) pièce de résistance.
Now, It looks more like a burial with the Travellers Palm being the tombstone. We are all mourning the loss of a beautiful garden.
The irony is not lost on me.
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It has me wondering – what would it look like if they collaborated, gave each other the space and air time to hear each other out, instead of –
And before the whole garden episode, they used to catch up out the back on a Friday afternoon, for drinks and a chinwag. That (it appears) has stopped and so has the maintenance of the garden.
From a stranger’s point of view; outside looking in, the groups bonding looked to be quite solid. Convivial catch ups but looks can be deceiving. The devil is always in the details. Sometimes we look at other people and envy their relation; it is a timely reminder that not all is always what it seems.
The healthiest of bonds are not usually what we think of it to be. Those solid interconnections are usually quiet and unassuming.
I think this whole girls night out and gal gangs put pressure on individuals to have these friendship circles that are not always healthy for our mental health. Feeling like we have to try to be someone/something that we are not, in order to fit in.
And the ones that would be beneficial for the soul, we overlook because it does not fit the image we have inside our head.
On the one hand we want friends that we can form a close bond with, but at the same time, have those people look good for our image. It’s a real double edged sword.
So – the things that we feel we are struggling on our own are actually, more common than we think. These issues are more prevalent than we care to admit. Acting like we have wholesome friends and our lives together is easier. It’s easier than admitting it’s all smoke and mirrors.
Life is not one size fits all, and not everyone was born to have a boatload of friends. That can be exhausting in and of itself.
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My name is Nutchi and I write essays about the power of human connection, relationships and finding hope and healing through sharing stories.
These are a collection of tales I found during my time of reflection, experiences, or have been inspired through conversation and other humanly connections.
A ruminating Heart 