I have (for one reason or another) met people from all walks of life. Call it fate or call it something else, our paths crossed. Professions of many kinds. Even an ex special ops who taught me about box breathing. (I wonder why it’s called box breathing?) Anyway … who knew I needed to learn box breathing (chuckles).
What becomes glaringly obvious, when I slow down my thoughts, and see people for who they are, you realise, we are all in the same boat. We are flawed, scared, insecure about something, uncertain about the future and everything in between.
And just because we portray ourselves on social media to be something curated and palatable, it does not mean there is not a gaping hole (an internal void) that longs for something much greater than “things”; possessions. Whether it be the fancy holiday, the expensive toys, the fancy clothes, cars and whatever else. This is not what makes us fulfilled.And sometimes, we don’t know why?
In reality, we are all in a similar boat. Just because the outside looks different. Does it mean that it is?
But what I have found to be the glaring difference is: the perspective/s.
In my experience, people who strive for the job title tend to portray the things that they are not. It feels safer. Less vulnerable. They are easier yard sticks to measure happiness and success.
But happiness is a solo endeavour. A journey, not a destination.
The real yard stick is internal. A place away from the prying eyes. The thing only the soul knows intuitively.
We cannot pretend our way to true happiness
So many of these so called “successful” people are so full of self doubt.
If you listen closely to what they have to say and the things they talk about, it’s all about achievement. What they have acquired is just that. The art of acquisition. Once you get it, you move on to the next best thing. There is no self reflection. That’s too frightening. We are afraid at what we might discover.
Those who so closely guard their job titles and possessions are so afraid of losing their identity (should they get laid off). Who are we without it? This is not happiness! This is pure fuelled anxiety. But then again, many can barely slow down to spell their own names. They are on autopilot.
When we race through life, we tend to lose sight of the small (but very) significant details that lies before us. And it is those small things that will bring us the greatest joy.
Happiness is a solo endeavour
You cannot be happy and compare.
It is like asking night and day to coexist. It is not possible.
We never stop to ask ourselves why we compare and why we want to be like the other person? There are a lot of truths in those very benign questions?
The people in my walk of life who are content, have found their own understanding of their world. And no, it’s not perfect, but they are satisfied. They are satisfied because they have worked out their own unique strengths and weaknesses.
They feel like they are enough.
It’s really hard to be happy when we are constantly battling with ourselves? We are … our own worst happiness advocates.
The truth is: we have to look at ourselves with pure honesty and acknowledge the flaws that we don’t like about ourselves and come to a place of acceptance.
Until then … life is one battle after another. You will be constantly looking for a solution to your problem. Surviving but not thriving.
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So, happiness is a choice, a solo endeavour and a perspective shift. When you know you are enough. You will be less inclined to compare. And even if you do, you will understand that each and everyone of us progresses at a different timeline.
A ruminating Heart 