Some things in life are wrapped up in the simplicity of it all.
When we think of love and showing love, somehow, the mind always goes to a place of grandeur. The expensive gifts that show the significant other that you love them. But more times than not, they are found in simplicity. The things that require thought and consideration.
Whilst I appreciate and love the momentary excitement of an expensive gift and the fact that someone may be able to afford me such a present. They always feel nice. It brings you back to childhood when you would receive big gifts (just for being a child).
But as I age with time and acquiring things feels more like a burden that weighs me down. Craving the more simplistic things from life, I ponder on the notion of giving and receiving.
I still love gifts. It’s my love language.
I really loved it when my partner would go on a business trip and bring me back a gift to let me know (I think?) that he was thinking of me. But I have to admit to you that he is a terrible gift giver. I don’t mean to sound unappreciative but … I would rather him write me a heartfelt card than to buy me a bottle of perfume that makes me smell like my late grandmother.
He is however …
A gifted wordsmith. I love his writing.
He used to write little prose on a napkin and give them to me. Perhaps I didn’t appreciate the significance at the time, but I do now.
It is the small things that show up in our lives, that creates the lasting memories.
They require thought and consideration. It calls for someone to think about you; in a world where thinking about ourselves comes first. Comes all so… naturally.
He used to buy me oriental lilies for a special occasion but now he grows them in a pot for me, because (he claims) they last longer and we can all admire them in our vertical garden. And this too is precious.
This is what I come to understand about gift and the act of it:
It really isn’t in the resplendent things.
It is the memory that the gift creates. The way it made me feel when he carefully selected words to put on the card, that lets me know that he cares. The flowers he plants for me and nurtured them to full bloom; is also an act of generosity and kindness.
These are some of the (small, but significant) things that I have come to appreciate.
It is not in the price of the present, but in its thoughtfulness that makes receiving more joyous and meaningful.
There is a lot of pressure put on men to give these splendiferous gifts, but if something is not genuinely gifted, it really is just another item waiting for the dust to settle on it. And At the end of the day, the act of giving is to show our deepest love and concern for the one we call (lover).
Learning to be thankful, I also begin to see the effort it requires to genuinely give and to be wholesomely loved.
If you feel like your partner is not giving you enough? Maybe his love language is an act of service. He would rather show love by planting your favourite flower instead of buying them. This is the greatest act of giving anyone can give another human.
Why? You’ve got to constantly tend to the damn thing and make sure it has enough soil nutrients and sun. Really, it would be easier to just go out and buy those bloody flowers.
But now – he’d rather buy me a gym membership. Take it as you will.
So, giving really has its own quirky and unique way of showing someone that they care. If it creates space in your mind for years to come, then maybe, there is something to be said about those gifts.
A ruminating Heart 